Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by aggression and passivity in which forceful attitudes or actions are expressed in a nonviolent, indirect manner. In some situations, you might find it hard to open up about frustrations, feelings of anger, or disappointment. A passive-aggressive person regularly exhibits resistance to demands or requests from others by expressing sullenness, procrastinating, or stubbornness. Currently, most individuals communicate passive-aggressively from time to time. In general, passive-aggressive behavior incorporates some disconnect between what you do and what you say. Your actions can frustrate or confuse others, especially individuals who accept your words at face value. Based on research, passive-aggressive behavior involves the following:
– A cynical or stubborn attitude
– Hostility, resentment, and bitterness
– A habit of blaming other people
– Being sarcastic
– Complaining about being undervalued
– Procrastinating
– A tendency to sulk or pout
– Frequent complaints about feeling deceived, misunderstood, or unappreciated
– Working inefficiently, intentionally delaying, or making mistakes
– Making vague criticism
WHAT CAUSES PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Passive aggression is a behavioral pattern that begins in childhood. There’s a wide range of factors that contribute to passive aggressive behavior:
- Fear of Rejection
According to studies, most people who have experienced neglect, rejection, or abuse from romantic partners in adulthood or family members in childhood, tend to keep people happy to protect their inner peace. At some point, you’ll build a habit of accommodating what other people suggest, even if it doesn’t suit your interests.
- Parenting Style and Family Dynamics
If you weren’t given a chance to question your parents or guardian, you have some ways of challenging unjust, harsh, or unfair rules and commands. A passive aggressive behavior offers you a way to obey rules while still resisting indirectly. Based on studies, most children who face challenges in their childhood will become passive-aggressive individuals in the future.
- Fear of Conflict
Most individuals have a hard time with conflict and tension, especially in close relationships. You might have challenges in expressing your true feelings because you don’t want to damage relationships or friendships. To avoid conflict and criticism, you end up hiding your opinions.
- A Need to Maintain Control
At some point in life, you may be forced to do things that you don’t want to do. This can be pretty frustrating, particularly if you end up in an unpleasant or challenging situation.
- Difficulty Expressing Emotions
Some people go through a hard time when expressing their emotions, especially unwanted or unpleasant ones. This is the key reason why most passive aggressive individuals hide their emotions. However, even if you avoid expressing irritation or anger directly, they’re evident in your behavior and mood. Therefore, you should develop some strategies that will help you express your emotions.
Other factors that can contribute to passive aggressive behavior are genetics, growing up in an unfriendly environment, etc.
HOW TO MANAGE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Individuals act passive aggressively because they lack sufficient knowledge on how to deal with conflicts properly. However, there are various tips that can help you manage passive aggressive behavior.
a. Keep a Positive Attitude
Positive thinking is a key aspect that helps individuals deal with affairs of life. A passive aggressive person will try to drag you into a vortex of negative thinking. Therefore, don’t shout, name-call, or become angry. Being positive helps you to focus on the good rather than the negative. It’s, therefore, important to address your conflicts in a manner that helps other people to interact with you freely.
b. Be Assertive
Assertiveness plays a significant role in helping you resolve unpleasant situations and a multitude of problems. Therefore, being assertive is among the best ways of managing passive aggressive behavior. This means that you’ll confront the passive aggressive person calmly. This is essential because it will help you solve the situation rather than leave it unresolved. A passive aggressive person will learn other ways of managing sadness, anger, and stress.
c. Trust your Gut
Individuals are highly interdependent species as well as sophisticated social creatures. This is because individuals have different emotions, perceptions, and senses. Therefore, you should learn how to trust your own impulse and maintain your autonomy. This habit will help you develop an identity, maintain a sense of agency, and build healthy relationships. Trusting other people’s opinions will make you lose your self-esteem. Therefore, it’s important to trust what you know.
d. Improve Your Self Awareness
Sometimes passive aggressive behavior comes as a result of not having a good understanding of your feelings. It’s important to identify why you’re upset. Therefore, pay attention to what’s going on as you react to various situations. Self-awareness will help you design the best strategy to solve a certain problem.
e. Practice Expressing Yourself
Learning to express your emotions appropriately and understanding your feelings can help you manage passive aggressive behaviors. Conflicts are part of life, but having sufficient knowledge on how to assert your feelings can help you come up with positive resolutions. Learning how to express yourself will help you deal with difficult situations in life.
f. Set Limits
It’s important to set limits and goals when dealing with a passive aggressive person. Setting limits helps other people understand your tastes and preferences. This will help them respect your opinions. When setting your goals, you should be smart enough. Ensure that your objectives align with your tastes and preferences. In addition, strive to attain your goals, even in difficult situations.
g. Use Direct Communication
Polite social gestures and subtle hints don’t translate well to passive aggressive individuals. Instead, effective communication is essential. When you identify passive aggressive behavior, it’s important to speak up. Speaking up makes the passive aggressive person know his or her limits. According to research, effective communication is key in any given field. Therefore, passive aggressive individuals should learn how to communicate effectively.
Conclusion
Managing passive aggressive behavior require time and effort. A psychologist or a primary care practitioner can help you cope with passive aggressive behavior. Above is in-depth information about passive aggressive behavior and tips on how to manage it.